Drugs

This post is not actually about drugs. It's about how the guy trying to take my blood failed to find my vein and bruised my arm, making it appear to the average on-looker that I am heavy into intravenous drug use. I'm not going to lie and say it didn't hurt when he did his little needle search of my arm. Right then was when I was almost 100% sure that this guy had very little training, no idea what he was doing, very tired and couldn't see straight, or all of the above. I was fooled because I usually associate a blood technician's age with experience. Don't do that!

So this guy sticks the needle into my arm, and I watch it go in because I love to watch. Unfortunately, no blood is coming out. My first thought was actually that maybe there was something wrong with my blood today. I watched a German movie recently called "Anatomy" and it's about a med school student that uncovers a secret Anti-Hippocratic society. They believe in the advancement of research above the care of patients. Anyway, in the movie, there is a drug that is used to make the blood rubbery in preparation for turning the cadaver into a plasticized display piece. I thought maybe that had happened to my blood for the slightest instant. Then I came back to reality and realized this guy just missed my vein entirely.

He realized he missed the vein too, so he took the needle halfway out and went in again at a different angle. He did this several times. When he didn't get his desired results, he plunged deeper into my arm, and that was the part that was most painful besides watching this man embarrass himself. Basically, all that extracurricular stabbing of my arm caused a little bulge in my arm that looked like it was going to burst. At this point, I had filled the very small bag before they really start collecting. However, he was still not in my vein or perhaps the bulge was blood that couldn't get by the bruise he created. Either way, the whole thing was brought to an end and the needle had to be taken out to prevent further damage.

The bruise is not that bad; I put ice on it for a few hours after the butchering of my arm. And the thing is there is always a blood shortage and I was going to give double red cells, which might have been very useful to someone in need.

I also noticed the Red Cross flag is the inverse of the Swiss Flag. There are German-speaking areas of Switzerland. I'm thinking there might be a conspiracy to live out the horrors of this movie I saw maybe. Perhaps the Red Cross is nothing more than a secret Anti-Hippocratic society that cares not for the people giving blood, but only for the blood they get. There are a few holes in my theory:

1. IMDB.com says this movie is actually an Italian movie.
2. There probably aren't too many people who've seen this movie.
3. If they don't care about the blood givers, why serve juice, water, sandwiches, and cookies to them.
4. Isn't this theory just a little crazy?

My response to non-believers:

1. It may be an Italian movie, but it takes place in Germany and they spoke German. I should know. I can say "It is hot" and "I am a nurse, feel better" so I think I know German when I hear it. Also, I'm sure there are Italian speakers in Switzerland being a "neutral" country and all.
2. It only takes a few to see the movie to sell it to the masses. It's called propaganda and peer pressure, powerful stuff.
3. Obviously, they're only serving you these foodstuffs and beverages to enrich your blood, so they can take more from you. They could care less about your well-being. It's like the old witch in the candy house fattening Hansel and Gretel so she could cook them later, oldest trick in the book.
4. Yes, it's just a little crazy. I've seen stranger things come to pass. Ex. JFK's magic bullet, Stretch Armstrong, knee-high socks, nano pets/tamagotchis, Floam, two dollar bills, green ketchup. etc., etc. Just think about it. That's all I'm asking.

All jokes aside though, do give blood if you can. I've done it a bunch now and this was only the second time it was botched. It's gone perfectly well every other time. It's a good cause and very worth an hour or two of your free time.